Protecting Our Autoestima

Throughout Rosie Molinary’s writing career, one question has consistently preoccupied her: How do Latinas reconcile the seemingly conflicting messages between mainstream America telling them to be themselves versus la familia telling them to strive toward beauty and femininity?

Molinary’s discoveries about living within two cultures appear in her critical books, Hijas Americanas: Beauty, Body Image, and Growing Up Latina and Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self Acceptance, which are “empowerment guides” to help Latinas love and accept themselves.

 “Women are hungering for affirmation of what they inherently know to be true, and guidance for letting that truth shine out,” says Molinary. Here, she shares four rocking body-image boosters:

1. Break negative pensamientos: “Our whole lives are affected by how we think and speak about our bodies,” says Rosie. “Find a bowl or piggy bank and deposit a quarter each time you knock yourself. Watch your self-awareness soar and your habits change.” Then treat yourself to a gift with the money or donate it.

2. Talk back: Do family or friends make jabs about your appearance or weight? Prepare a comeback, and practice it out loud. “Let that critical person know that your body is off limits for discussion,” says Rosie.

3. Make eye contact: “Much of our confidence is projected through our eyes,” explains Rosie. Avoiding eye contact communicates that you want to be invisible.

4. Stop body-checking: How often do you check yourself in mirrors or windows? Each time, “take a breath and change your focus,” says Rosie. By curtailing obsessive behavior, you train yourself to turn off [negative] tapes in your head.”

Photo: @iStockphoto.com/sdominick

Corazon Tierra: Cultivando Body Confidence

With the onset of spring, it’s easy to feel less confident as we shed the layers of winter clothing. For Corazon Tierra, a New York City–based body-esteem expert, getting back body confidence is about making a commitment to love your body no matter the weight or size. Here, Tierra shares some helpful tools that lead to a healthy and realistic body image.

Keep a positive outlook. Repeat these words every morning: “I love my body unconditionally. I treat it with respect and kindness. I am beautiful.” Gradually, you’ll train your mind to substitute self-hatred talk for self-loving thoughts.

Take a magical bath. Water is a feminine element that awakens our goddess nature. Use sea salts or essential oils to prepare a special bath for yourself. Lavender, jasmine, rose and cinnamon are excellent for awakening positive feelings.

Express yourself in your attire. Ask yourself: “How does my presence transform a room when I go in? Does it become more joyful or more harmonious?”

Spend time in nature. Being near trees, flowers and water relaxes your body and uplifts your spirit. Allow yourself to simply be and enjoy the beauty around you.

Express body gratitude. Set aside five minutes several times per week to meditate. Close your eyes, and breathe in and breathe out slowly. Then, touch your legs, knees and feet, giving thanks for everything each body part does for you. Your body will feel completely appreciated and you will shine again.

Dara Torres: Age Is Just a Number

At a towering 6 feet, Olympic swimmer Dara Torres is a breathtaking composition of muscle, proportion and beauty. Yet, she’s no newbie.

Torres became the oldest medalist in swimming history at the Beijing Olympics in 2008. She was 41 and beat all of her youthful records. This summer, she’ll break age barriers again when she dives into the London Olympics at the jaw-dropping age of 45.

But the 12-time medalist’s impressive talents aren’t just confined to the pool. She’s also the best-selling author of two books, Age Is Just a Number: Achieve Your Dreams at Any Stage in Your Life and Gold Medal Fitness: A Revolutionary 5-Week Program, and was the first female athlete featured in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Most importantly, she’s the mother of 6-year-old Tessa.

Here, three ageless reminders to turn your vision into a reality.

1. Draw inspiration from challenges. Do like Torres and let the hurdles and skeptics motivate your success. “When there’s an obstacle put in my path, I become motivated to get through it and defy the odds,” says Torres.

2. Find a cause that is greater than you. “After the 2008 Olympics, so many women told me I was an inspiration,” says Torres. “I think that’s what keeps me in the pool: continuing to remind people that age really is just a number.”

3. Believe in yourself. What does Torres hope her daughter and fans learn from her staggering success? That age brings experience and confidence. As the champ says: “Age works to my advantage, not my disadvantage.”

Photo: Getty Images

The Luminarias Club

No one cares about your career as much as you do, right? Probably not, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use a little support to hit your goals. Start an accountability club that will keep you focused on creating the career you want. Here’s how:

Choose your compañeras. You’ll need a small group of three to five people who can meet regularly. Some people feel more comfortable with friends. Others think objective advice from strangers is best. In these cases, make sure you share something in common (either you’re in the same industry or at the same career level, or you’re similarly self-employed or freelancing). Remember, discretion is key. You all must know that anything shared will be strictly confidential.

Commit. Whatever time you choose for meetings, it has to be sacred. If people start flaking out or you have to reschedule over and over, things will fall apart quickly. With that said, the group might not work out for everyone. Set a date a few months down to reassess.

Keep things structured. Take turns at each meeting to talk about what you’re working on. Set a time limit. Each member should have about 20 minutes. The idea is that this check-in will help crystallize personal goals and push you to act towards them. The group’s responsibility? To offer advice and feedback and to call you out on it whenever you’re missing your targets.

Be professional. This is not the time to vent about your significant other or show off photos of that cool restaurant you hit last week. Consider this work time and stay on topic.

Get Inspired in No Time

It happens to all of us: We find a project or a goal we want to reach, and then we throw ourselves at it with loads of good intention and excitement. But somewhere down the road, we lose steam. And before we know it, we’ve lost our motivación completely. Life coach Monica Borbely tells us how to get it back.

Remember Your Great Moments
Thinking about the times when you felt at the top of your game helps to put you back in the zone. “These moments of triumph remind you of who you are and what you are about,” says Borbely. Those memories, she says, “connect you with that time when you felt most fulfilled, most stretched and most present.”

Remember That Each Day Is Precious
“When I’m not motivated to do what I know needs to be done,” says Borbely, “I remind myself that if I waste this opportunity, I’ll never get it back.” Borbely recommends building playtime into your schedule each week. “My minutes, hours and days come around one time. It’s up to me to live the life I want, right now.”

Dream Big
According to Borbely, you must allow yourself to be a big dreamer to be happy right down to the core of your being. Forget about caution. “Big dreams can fulfill you right down to the soul because you’ve sought out your true purpose in life,” she says. “Big dreams can push your limits and keep your life fresh.”